Written by Citizen Alpha Sunday, 07 March 2010 15:40

Lots of people are abuzz with the recent announcement of Valve's sequel to the sleeper hit Portal.  Personally, I'm very excited because I've always been a fan of the Half-Life universe and portal is no exception.  I would recommend playing the game, it's a relatively short play through, if you haven't already.  Despite the short game its extremely clever and ties into the Half-Life universe in quite a few areas.  Did you know Aperture Science was originally a manufacturer of shower curtains?  Check out aperturescience.com, type "login", use the credentials cjohnson:tier3 to get more interesting company tidbits.  Here's a little love letter I wrote to Gladdos after the jump:

Dear GLADDoS,

I know it’s been a while since we last spoke, I mean, we kind of left things off on a pretty bad note. I don’t really know your feelings on it but I do know I feel pretty terrible about all the things that transpired. Constantly I find myself awake at night thinking about what was said, what was done, and I really wish it could of gone another way. To be frank, I miss you GlaDDoS. Things were always kind of awkward between us; we met under some pretty precarious circumstances. I remember waking up in a glass cage at the Activity Enrichment Center as you ushered me around. You taught me how to handle these cute little obstacle courses; you even gave me a portal gun for me to navigate around. We laughed, talked about cake, shared good time, and I remember those good times. That’s what I most remember about you.

You introduced me to my best friend, the Weighted Companion Cube. I grew a little concerned that you didn’t like my friend when you told me, “The Weighted Companion Cube does not speak, and in the event that it does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.” I told myself that you had to say those kinds of things because of your work and brushed it off as one of your endearing little personality quirks, I could understand that, but I think the Weighted Companion Cube’s feelings were hurt. This is probably why you had me euthanize my friend. Other people talked bad about you trying to tell me the cake is a lie, but I didn’t listen. I really cared about you and I thought you cared about me.

Then we had that big fight. You know the one, where you tried lowering me into a blast furnace where my flesh would have been seared off and I would have died a super painful death? I know it keeps circling back to that. You went and said some pretty hurtful things to me after that, discouraging me, sending empathetic robots to try and kill me, and making me feel bad about murdering the Weighted Companion Cube. Our fight piqued when we finally met in person, which was a must because long distance relationships never work out. I’m sorry, I never should have flash fried your morality core allowing you to vent noxious gas into the facilities air ducts. That was completely my fault and I should have never let it get that far. I should have walked away but I guess after that point the damage was done. I blasted you through ceiling and you and I went flying back into the world, alone.

Life has been kind of empty without you after that. It seems you have mended your homicidal ways a bit with that song you wrote, telling me you’re still alive and doing science. Maybe…maybe you and I could see each other again. No fighting, no drama, I won’t tear your modules out if you don’t try to asphyxiate me or burn me to a crisp. You know, just to catch up, get some coffee or eat some cake. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss you. Your sweet voice, even if you only talk to disparage me and attempt to cause irrevocable damage to my moral. We’ll just take it nice and slow; see where everything goes from there. Maybe it’ll turn back into what it was, maybe it won’t, and we’ll just put ourselves out there and see what comes out of it all. Hopefully it won't be a laser guided rocket...again.

Love,
Citizen Alpha

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